So my daughter got diagnosed last month and while sitting in that appointment, everything the doctor said about her symptoms... that's literally me. I've spent 40 years thinking I was just disorganized and undisciplined. Watching her struggle with homework that should take 20 minutes but takes 3 hours is like looking in a mirror. I need to find someone who works with adults because if I can get help, maybe I can actually help her better too. Any recommendations for ADHD therapists who get it?
Thursday, January 29, 2026 6:19:05 PM
My Kid's Struggling and I Think I Passed This Down
Oh wow, the parent diagnosis story hits different doesn't it? I was 38 when my son got evaluated and I literally interrupted the psychologist like ""wait, everyone doesn't do that?""
I'd been white-knuckling through life thinking I just needed to try harder. The amount of guilt I carried for years of ""why can't I just be normal"" was crushing. Then realizing my kid inherited this from me and I'd been modeling all my terrible coping mechanisms to him? That hurt.
Getting assessed myself was honestly life-changing. I checked out ADHD therapy for adults in Orange County when I was looking and ended up finding someone who specializes in adult ADHD and the specific weirdness of late diagnosis. We spent sessions just unpacking all the shame and reframing my entire past through this lens.
Here's the thing - once I understood MY brain, I could actually help my kid instead of just repeating ""focus harder!"" like that ever worked for either of us. We figured out systems together. Now homework still sucks but at least we're not both crying over it.
You recognizing this pattern is huge. Getting support for yourself isn't selfish, it's probably the best thing you can do for your daughter. She needs to see that adults with ADHD can thrive too.
I'd been white-knuckling through life thinking I just needed to try harder. The amount of guilt I carried for years of ""why can't I just be normal"" was crushing. Then realizing my kid inherited this from me and I'd been modeling all my terrible coping mechanisms to him? That hurt.
Getting assessed myself was honestly life-changing. I checked out ADHD therapy for adults in Orange County when I was looking and ended up finding someone who specializes in adult ADHD and the specific weirdness of late diagnosis. We spent sessions just unpacking all the shame and reframing my entire past through this lens.
Here's the thing - once I understood MY brain, I could actually help my kid instead of just repeating ""focus harder!"" like that ever worked for either of us. We figured out systems together. Now homework still sucks but at least we're not both crying over it.
You recognizing this pattern is huge. Getting support for yourself isn't selfish, it's probably the best thing you can do for your daughter. She needs to see that adults with ADHD can thrive too.
